


Rules of Engagement

by elem (elem44)



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-11
Updated: 2017-03-11
Packaged: 2018-10-02 19:55:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10225940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elem44/pseuds/elem
Summary: A P/T dialogue-only piece with a healthy smattering of J/C. Written for the 5th Anniversary (2008) Story Challenge.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to Brianna for the beta.

“You know what I’m talking about.”

“Nuh uh, I haven’t got a clue.”

“You’re kidding right? My God woman, do you walk around with your eyes closed?”

“No, but I don’t see sex in every gesture or wanton lust in every look. What is it with you? Are you that desperate?”

“Now that you mention it…”

“Hey, back-off Casanova. Hands to yourself.”

“Yeah, well, that’s half the problem.”

“Half?”

“Hmmph. You can talk. The walls have ears you know.”

“Only if people have their heads pressed up against the bulkhead next door in Ensign Brook’s quarters. There’s a name for that.”

“I call it dating.”

“Maybe you do but rest of the world calls it stalking.”

“Nice.”

“I call it how I see it.”

“Well then, what do you call _that_?”

“A smile.”

“No it’s not. It’s a leer. An invitation disguised as a smile. Look! Look where his hand is.”

“He’s just helping her navigate through the tables. He’s being chivalrous.”

“Chivalrous!? Yeah sure. He’s got his hand on her ass.”

“No he hasn’t. It’s on the small of her back and it’s sweet.”

“It’s foreplay.”

“You’re a pig.”

“You’re blind.”

“I’m not, I can see perfectly well.”

“I beg to differ. Whoa, now she just touched him.”

“She always touches him. She always touches everyone.”

“Yeah, well when was the last time she touched _you_ like that? And if she did, I’d like to see the holoimage.”  

“Oh, grow up.”

“Grow eyes.”

“Oh goodness, well, umm, that was…”

“…a below the waister.”

“A what?”

“A below the waist touch. There are different sorts of touches. A slap on the back for an acquaintance, an arm around the shoulder for a good friend, a gentle stroke down the arm and holding hands… like this, for someone who makes your heart beat faster but below the waist touches are for lovers and lovers only. They’re all about ownership, commitment and ‘hands off’ to anyone else who might be thinking of making a play. See, it’s both of them, definitely below the waist. It’s on. They’re at it, there’s no doubt in my mind.”

“Okay, so what if you’re right.”

“I _am_ right.”

“Big deal, so they’re lovers. So what?”

“So what?! It’s the biggest scoop of the decade; the century maybe and there’s a shuttle load of rations riding on it.”

“Why?”

“Because she’s the captain.”

“So! He’s the commander.”

“My point exactly. She’s the captain and he’s the commander. There are rules about that sort of thing.”

“ _You’re_ telling _me_ about rules and regs. Who died and made you Tuvok?”  

“Oh, very funny. Come on. Let’s follow them. I want to see what they do.”

“No way. You’re on your own.”

“We’ve already established that, but, don’t you want to see what they’re up to?”

“I’m _not_ spying on Chakotay,or the captain for that matter. Imagine what would happen if we were caught. I don’t want to be scouring exhaust manifolds for the rest of the trip home.”

“Oh, come on, just a little peek out the door to see where they’re going.”

“All right, just one little look for the purpose of expediency. I don’t trust you to tell the truth.”

“You don’t? I’m shattered.”

“You’ll get over it.”

“I think he just kissed her.”

“ _You’re kidding!”_

“Ha! See, I knew you were interested.”

“I’m interested in kissing of any sort.”

“Really? Tell me more.”

“That smacks of desperation.”

“Now we’re smacking? Whatever turns you on…”

“Pig.”

“If you say so.”

“Double pig.”

“Ouch! Come on, they’re nearly at the turbo lift.”

“I’m not getting in there with them. What the hell would we say to them?”

“We don’t have to say anything.”

“I know what you’re up to. You want to see if she’s as good as in your fantasies, don’t you? You think Chakotay might let something slip. _You’re_ jealous.”

“What?! Are you crazy?”

“No, but you are. What ever gave you the idea that she’d even look sideways at you?”

“I never did.”

“Hmmph. Half the crew are in your shoes, you realise. There’s been a line forming for years, but Chakotay’s always been at the head of it.”

“You’re wrong.”

“You don’t think Chakotay is her favourite?”

“Oh, of course he is. I mean, you’re wrong about me fantasising about her.”

“Really?”

“Well, not anymore.”

“See, I was half right. You used to.”

“Maybe, but I haven’t for a long time.”

“Ensign Brooks, huh?”

“No.”

“Look out, they’re turning. Come here.”

“Oomph. What are you doing…mmmph? Mmmm.”

“Sorry. You can let go now.”

“You kissed me. For god’s sake don’t apologise.”

“I didn’t want them thinking we were following them.”

“We could have just turned the other way.”

“If that’s how you feel, don’t expect it to happen again.”

“Hey, I’m not complaining, I liked your diversionary tactic much better. _Much_ better.”

“Why am I not surprised. Who is it?”

“Who is what?”

“The person you fantasise about now that the captain’s taken.”

“You don’t want to know.”

“Harry?”

“God, no!”

“Please tell me it’s not Seven.”

“No, but I’m probably the only one.”  

“That’s a point in your favour.”  

“Only a point. I have to have something else going for me, surely.”

“Leave it with me and I’ll see if anything springs to mind.”

“Be sure and let me know. Hey, they’ve gone. Come on. Computer, locate the Captain and Commander Chakotay?”

_*The Captain and Commander are on level six section twelve.*_

“Sandrine’s?”

“Maybe, let’s go see.”

“Why am I doing this?”

“Because you want to see them happy, just as much as I do.”

“I thought you wanted to get the scoop and win the pool?”

“The rations wouldn’t go astray. I might even have the guts to ask someone to dinner if I had a pocketful of winnings but I’d be happy just to see them happy.”

“You’re an odd one, Tom Paris.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment B’Elanna Torres. Here we are, deck six. Can you see them?”

“Nuh uh. They must be in the holodeck. Who would you take to dinner?” 

“Huh?”

“If you won the pool, who would you take to dinner? Ensign Brooks?”

“No, she’s just a friend. Sandrine’s is running. In you go.”

“A Delaney? There’s always a choice and your side kick gets the cast off.”

“Hey, it’s not like that.”

“That’s not what the scuttlebutt says but … There they are, at the back in the corner behind the pool table. Hey there’s a bit of a crowd here tonight.”

“Yeah, it’s busy. But what?”

“Don’t you want to see what they’re doing?”

“Yes, but first, I want to know what you were going to say.”

“I’ve forgotten. Move, I can’t see.”

“B’Elanna?!”

“What? I’m concentrating on them. Look!”

“He’s got his hand on her ass again.”

“You and her ass. You’ve got a thing for it, haven’t you?”

“I don’t have a thing for her ass.”

“You could have fooled me. You seem to notice it a lot.”

“I notice a lot of things. I notice your ass.”

“Did I want to know that? You’re never walking behind me again, Paris.”

“Suits me. I’ll walk in front and you can look at my ass.”

“Oh my God!”

“My ass is _that_ good?”

“No. Look!”

“ ** _Now_** he’s kissing her.”

“Oh my.”

“Holy crap, that’s not kissing, that’s surgery. He’s taking her tonsils out with his tongue. That’s just not right, especially in front of the ‘children’.”

“There’s kissing and there’s _kissing._ How come no one else seems to have noticed? Wow! She’s _really_ enjoying that.”

“He’s having way too much fun. Oh brother, look where her hand is.”

“Let’s get out of here. I don’t think I need to see anymore. I won’t be able to look either of them in the eye if we stay any longer.”

“Aren’t they too old to do that sort of thing?”

“Move it, Paris.”

“Hey, watch the threads. I don’t want to have to replicate a new uniform because you tore the sleeve off this one and imagine what people would think if I told them you ripped my uniform.”

“You’re pathetic you know.”

“Yeah, particularly where you’re concerned. Would you have dinner with me tomorrow night?”

“You want me to have dinner with you?”

“Yes.”

“You’re a glutton for punishment, Paris.”

“Punishment? Maybe, but I can’t think of anyone else I’d rather have wield the pain sticks.”

“Don’t tempt me.”

“I’d be up for it. Don’t forget I’ve seen your Klingon side and the offer still stands – I wouldn’t mind seeing it again.”

“You really mean that?”

“Yes, I do.”

“You might just get your wish. It’s the Klingon Day of Honour next week. Neelix has threatened to make blood pie. I really don’t know whether I’m up to his version of it.”

“Are you going to do the ritual?”

“I don’t think so.”

“I can help you get the holo-simulation up and running.”

“Leave it with me, okay? I’ll see.”

“And dinner?”

“I’ll see about that too and let you know.”

“Sure.”

“I’m home.”

“So you are.”

“Night, Tom. Do you think they’ll be all right?”

“Who? The Captain and Commander?”

“Mmmm.”

“I think they had things pretty much in hand, so to speak. I’m pleased for them. After the Borg, I wondered if they’d ever speak to each other again, I guess they fixed whatever was wrong. Fixed it very nicely.”

“I guess so.”

“Good night, B’Elanna.”

“Night Tom. Oh and Tom?”

“Yeah.”

“I’d like to have dinner with you tomorrow.”

“You would? Excellent. I’ll pick you up after our shift. No uniforms.”

“Okay, see you tomorrow.”

“Sweet dreams.”

“Maybe.”

Fin.


End file.
